That 1st Big Talk with Your Ghostwriter

I recently received an email query from a woman who basically wanted someone she to call “your ghostwriter.” This was for either a speech or a book. 

In her six-paragraph inquiry, which she titled, “A story worth telling?” she asked me several questions: “Am I crazy? Brave? Both? Most importantly, does this sound like something in your wheelhouse?”

I responded, “Let me answer your questions in the order you asked them. You are not crazy. You are brave. This is in my wheelhouse.” Then I gave her my calendar link, she picked a day and time, and we started talking.

Our conversation covered her deciding on a book, the time it would take to write it, and some of the costs that she could expect to pay. It was very introductory, and that’s as it should be. 

You might think you need to have a shoebox full of notes, documents, and photos. You don’t. Nor do you need a partial manuscript or an outline that can be used to tell your story. Those are all nice but not necessary. What a ghostwriter really wants is something more valuable: curiosity, honesty, a willingness to remember events (even the painful ones), an openness to difficult questions, a readiness to consider the value a ghostwriter brings, and patience.

Here are seven things to bring to that first meeting with your ghostwriter.

1. An open mind. You might think you know what your book is about. Your ghostwriter might discover different and more effective themes. For example: my clients from the Bronx who wanted to tell their story of growing up in the South Bronx. They wanted to model it after the TV show “The Wonder Years.” Talking to them revealed the real story was how the two brothers’ choices to join a gang or not affected their lives.

Fortunately, the clients were willing to tell that story, resulting in a manuscript entitled “The Bronx Brothers: A Tale of Two Choices.” It’s currently with an editor.

2. Honesty about imperfections. Readers connect with honesty and authenticity. If you’re only going to have a ghostwriter tell of your successes, your book will be incomplete. That’s what made my client who married a psychopath such a compelling figure. She was fearless in describing her naiveté as the last to realize among her friends and children who her second husband really was. She was unafraid to show how she struggled with PTSD as she tried to extricate herself from her husband’s crimes. She bravely let her friends, attorneys, and family be interviewed, and she didn’t shy away from the court documents that showed how difficult it was to represent herself.

3. Patience. Writing a book is a long process that could take a year or more. Your first conversation with your ghostwriter will be about understanding who you are, why you want to tell your story, who is it for, what you want to accomplish, what the ghostwriting process entails, and the ghostwriter’s philosophy, experience, and background. Cost comes later.

Once you’ve hired your ghostwriter, there’s more patience. The first months of work aren’t about writing chapters. They’re about further understanding the story and building the outline. The Bronx Brothers didn’t see any writing for about six months. I have another client in which he saw almost no writing for three months.

4. Concerns and doubts. When you first meet a ghostwriter, you two are strangers. You don’t know each other, so you might worry about privacy, the time and financial commitments, family reactions, and whether the story is really compelling enough to tell.

In short, there are trust issues that have to be resolved. You have to trust that your ghostwriter will find your story worth telling, that your ghostwriter will keep the confidential info private and not disclose anything improper, that they’ll be as committed to the story as you are; and that they have the experience, knowledge, skill, and expertise to get the story out of your head and onto the page in the best way possible for your target audience.

You have to click with your ghostwriter. These early conversations should clear up all worries or you shouldn’t work with that ghostwriter because ghostwriting is built on trust. The more comfortable you become sharing your experiences with your ghostwriter, the better your ghostwriter can serve you.

5. Values. Ask yourself, What principles have guided my life? These often become the connecting tissue to the entire manuscript. The Bronx brothers learned theirs on the streets. One knew not to join a gang and went on to become a successful orthopedist. The other joined a gang and struggled with money, addiction, and numerous run-ins with law enforcement that led to numerous incarcerations.

Sometimes, the values come from lessons learned. So, ask yourself, What do I know now that I wish I’d known during the time the book takes place? Those often become the most memorable parts of the book.

The gang-joining Bronx brother realized later in life that his brother got it right, and he has spent the last ten to twenty years telling anyone who would listen that his way was the wrong way.

6. Voice. While the first meeting with a ghostwriter is an interview of sorts, you should be yourself. That means you should speak like you always do. A ghostwriter needs to understand how you talk, what words and tones you use, if you’re sarcastic, earnest, facetious, serious, businesslike, or anything else.  

Your personality needs to be evident. Don’t worry about the words, a ghostwriter can shape those later. But no ghostwriter can invent your voice.

7. Memories. Many prospects (and later clients) apologize for rambling. That’s normal. Unless you’ve been telling the story for years, you probably won’t relate the details in a manner as coherent and organized as in a book. That’s okay. That’s what your ghostwriter is for.  A skilled ghostwriter isn’t looking for a perfectly organized manuscript. They’re looking for a person with experiences worth exploring, lessons worth preserving, and a willingness to trust the process—even if that starts all over the place. That’s what I told my prospect.

She mentioned how her thoughts, feelings, and memories are just flowing out of her and she’s working hard to get them down on paper. That is fine. We’ll talk again to better figure out the exact scope of her project.

If you’re thinking about a book and want to talk through whether we’d be a good fit, take a look at some of my other posts on ghostwriting at https://leebarnathan.com/blog/ or reach out directly to set up a conversation.